Learn Making Friends - Tej Kohli (go back »)

Tej Kohli talks about friends, aging and relationships...

Friends are so important, especially as we age. Our good friends are like chosen family. They often treat us better than some of our family members. There are many kinds of friendships as well as many reasons why we select certain people to be our friend. Sometimes it is as simple as living close to each other. Sometimes it is about having a common interest or need. Sometimes we just like each other and have absolutely nothing in common.

We meet these friends at a variety of places. When we have young children it is really easy to find friends. Our kids almost bring them home to us. As we get older and perhaps no longer working or doing a lot of volunteer work, it becomes far more difficult to meet and make these friends.

Aging also brings on other issues. Sometimes people are bombarded with financial and medical problems that keep them from being social. Some people seem to be happy to keep the friends they have and not make new ones. When you are older and want to make some new friends you have to put yourself and sometimes get out of your comfort zone. You have to be the inviter often and gently push your way in to a group that is already settled.

When moving to a new place and looking to make some new acquaintances and connections there are things you can do. It does take some work and effort. Do this:

1. Join a church

2. Check for activity centers

3. Join a gym

4. Join the chamber of commerce

5. Go on line to find the activities available in your area

6. Find clubs or groups that share your interests

7. Volunteer

8. Be friendly and interested in others

Very often people are caught up in their own lives and activities, so you have to have a lot of patience. The most difficult thing is to find friends who you personally can connect with. Very often they just come out of the blue.

In Relationships